Hypothetical YA Blogger Rebellion

In my recent interview with Sarah Ockler, Sarah said she wonders what a YA blogger rebellion would be like.

Here is her direct quote: "I almost want to say no just to see what a YA blogger rebellion looks like! I mean, do you have capes and ninja masks and squirt guns and stuff? Or will this be more of a cyber riot? Hmmm..."

Well, Sarah, I am here to help answer your question.

I asked some of my blogger friends to tell me what they thought a YA blogger rebellion would be like. (If I didn't ask you, I'm sorry! D: I kind of just started pressing buttons on the keyboard and seeing whose name came up. And if I saw you tweet recently, I sent it. This is why you all should join twitter.) Here's what they came up with:

Jordyn: YES THERE WOULD BE NINJA MASKS. It would be sly and sekrit and nobody would notice anything amiss until ONE BY ONE people started disappearing (who? I don't know. whoever we're against) and the internet started going crazy and eventually DIED completely. And then girls dressed as Ninjas started taking over bookstores and radio stations and basically all the media outlets until we took over the world like Pinky and the Brain.

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Liv: So you want to know what a blogger rebellion would look like? Well. Let me just tell you that you don't ever want to get on our bad sides. As we come from all across the WORLD, travel would no longer be safe. I mean, say you wanted to go to Brazil or Canada or Australia. Impossible! We've got minions there, ready to defend our honor. And all bets are off. We've got all sorts of crazy weapons and strategies. Alea and I? We would use our eskimo powers on you, sending our huskies and rabid ice storms on a rampage. Writing with dogs barking and snow howling would be quite difficult, I think. But so far no authors have been stupid enough (or mean enough) to set off our evil chain. Maybe it's because we're all sooo awesome? XD

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Sophie/Mrs. Magoo: The pen is mightier than the sword. Whoever said that is about to be proved correct. Hundreds upon hundreds of bloggers will gather all of their reviews ever written and print them out: thousands upon tens of thousands of pages of book reviews. Using the magic of pen and paper, characters come to life: Harry Potter, Edward Cullen, Hamlet, and thousands of others jump off of the pages. Using the magic and courage instilled in them by their authors, characters are able to achieve victory within minutes. Bloggers, characters, publicists, and authors celebrate the won rebellion together!

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Here's an absolutely terrifying answer Adele came up with: On the surface it might sound a little lame and look a whole lot like the crowd at a Zac Efron mall appearance, but don’t underestimate us. We read and we aren’t afraid to use our book smarts to hit back if you cross us.

Rebellion is defined as the refusal of obedience. So to invoke the ire of the YA blogging community and incite rebellious activity is impressive indeed. YA Bloggers wouldn’t return their borrowed books to the library (and if they did, they would be trashed) which is against the very core of our second-hand book odour-ed souls.

A rebellion would only occur under the following circumstances:

· John Green decided to turn his YA career in a different direction by picking up where Stephenie Meyer left off with Breaking Dawn. Reneesme becomes an independent, well read tease and Jacob’s left scrambling after her...shivers. (To clarify I worship at the altar of JG but not even he could fix the abysmal ramblings of that book.)

· Rachel Cohn writes a book where all characters have clear and distinct names. No name sharing = new direction.

· Elizabeth Scott stopped writing for two years thus the world is robbed of ten novels. (What can I say, she’s a freaking machine.)

· Sarah Dessen decides to write a combined sequel for This Lullaby and Just Listen where Remy ends up with Owen and Annabel with Dexter. (I died inside while typing that.)

· David Levithan quits writing YA and starts writing TV (I know doesn’t sound too bad, but wait for it)...for the remake of 21 Jump Street. (Actually I take that back, that sounds pretty good).

These acts would invoke some serious YA blogging rebellion

Rebellion could come in four distinct forms:

1. Mutiny – Strike on all bookstores, we entertain ourselves by writing shoddy fanfic.

2. Civil Disobedience – We storm multiple book signings with signs declaring “WTF?”, while accompanied by a psychiatrist to offer free counselling to authors considering the above actions

3. Resistance – I’d say book burning but that’s reserved for real douches (and Dixie Chicks haters). Who am I kidding, we’ve all taken an unofficial oath that ‘we shall not hurteth the booketh”.

4. Subversion – we all just write our own books, taking to entertaining ourselves on Skype or twitter and pretend the “old” YA authors don’t exist.

What I am trying to say is...Sarah, theorising blogging rebellion is great but none of us want to go there. It would be ugly. The above examples are what I have brainstormed in five minutes alone. Imagine if we got our collective minds together and used ideas from all those YA books to rebel? I shudder to think.

On that note, I’d like to say, Gayle Forman – consider this a warning should you decide to stop writing. Nuff said.

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And here's the answer Alea came up with. I like to call this answer the "It Could Really Happen" answer: Well, first thing that came to mind when you said "Blogger Rebellion" would be silence in the blogosphere for said Rebellion. No one would post a darn thing! That would teach them a lesson!

Any more guesses as to what the rebellion would look like? Or any more reasons as to WHY we would rebel?