Labyrinth

This post is mainly for Chelsea (The Page Flipper), Gail (Ticket to Anywhere), and author Julie Kagawa (whose book, The Iron King, is totally awesome). They have been bugging me for months to watch Labyrinth, and on Saturday I finally did. I was so moved that I just had to write a post about it.

Here is the trailer for those of you who don't know what it's about and are still reading this:



The first thing I thought when the movie was over was "is this what being on drugs feels like?"

I think that sentence sums up my thoughts on the movie pretty well, but I will continue.

I should have know I was in for a treat when I heard my dad cackle upon seeing the movie box.

The movie starts out pretty normal. Sarah, our protagonist, is reciting some lines about goblins and runs home when she realizes she needs to babysit her annoying stepbrother (or something like that). We find out that she hates babysitting her stepbrother and hates her stepmother for making her. Perfectly normal.

But then these guys show up:


I'm sorry, but these goblin things are terrifying, especially since they are waiting for Sarah to wish her brother away so they can steal him. That's just a little shady.

And then she does wish him away, blah blah blah. Then David Bowie, the goblin king, shows up. He looks like this:

Not as scary as the goblins, but give him twenty years and I bet he'll start looking like the creepy ones.

[And by that I mean the movie Bowie, not real Bowie, because he still looks pretty much the same.]

He tells Sarah that her brother is in his castle, and she has 13 hours to get through a labyrinth or her brother will be his FOREVER! *ominous music*

And that's when it really gets odd.

First, we meet this thing:

This is Hoggle. I'm not sure what kind of creature he's supposed to be, but I'm guessing he's the ugly, estranged cousin of the Seven Dwarves.

And then this happens:



I'm still not sure what happened in that scene, but listening to Bowie sing distracts from the crazy going on back in the labyrinth.

Sarah is trying to make it through the maze, but she is failing. She is failing hard. She spends half her time trying to find someone who can help her get through the maze instead of trying to do it herself.

She also whines a lot.

As she looks for someone to help her, she encounters all sorts of creatures, including:


Ludo, who seems to be a cross between Donkey Kong and a bison, with a bit of orangutan thrown in.

These critters are apparently called The Fire Gang, but I prefer to call them "the dancing, drugged up pink things."

I'm not sure why these things were relevant to the plot, but they at least provided plenty of o_O moments.

Honestly, I don't know what else to say about Labyrinth. It was just so astounding that I am at a loss for words. Nothing I say can do the crazy justice.

I'll just leave this picture here, which I took right after the movie ended: